Children Are Not Someone Else’s, Big Heart is Crucial

We have dreamed of a large family even before building our own family nest. It is no secret that there’s no greater happiness than having the whole family around the same table in a heartwarming atmosphere. Family is the greatest gift and the most powerful force for a person. Not so long ago, it was 12 years since we became husband and wife, and we are raising six children!

Thanks to our strong love, we are moving in the same direction in both family and business. Most importantly, our greatest desire came true: we managed to give a family to a little girl, Nazel, our little angel. We can hold her close to our hearts and give her all the warmth we’ve accumulated, which this little girl needs so much! Our youngest children, Nazima and Nazel, are like twins to us. And neither nation nor race can stop this, because everyone on earth has the right to happiness — a loving family, human warmth, care and affection.

My name is Nazgul. I grew up in a family with many children, and, according to Kazakh traditions, my grandparents brought me up. Seeing our customs since childhood, I myself have always dreamed of sitting at a big table surrounded by many children and certainly with the sound of their laughter. I am 32 years old and I have six children — five of my own, given by God, and a little angel — we asked the Almighty to make her part of our family. The comfort and harmony of our home, based on mutual understanding and warm family relationships, increase every year, thanks to the right choice I made 12 years ago.  Generally speaking, people should not make a mistake in choosing two things: a profession and a life partner. I believe I am among the lucky ones, because my choice was right in both cases.

My husband Nurbolat comes from a genuine Kazakh environment, a Kyzylorda man who grew up absorbing all the most sacred things laid down in our nation for centuries. We met through a social network, which was the beginning of our online communication.

Initially, Nurbolat and I found many points of contact, both in our profession and in our way of thinking. Even then it became clear to us that our paths would cross and our destiny would become one. My future spouse studied banking and I was majoring in accounting. We were very excited about a dream we had in common even before our family was born.  We both wanted to adopt a child, giving a family, and with that, to find happiness for ourselves. Our dream came true after three years of tireless work.

After receiving the adoption certificate, the long-awaited moment came: we happened to see Nazel for the first time. The most interesting thing was that only the diagnosis, age, and nationality were listed in the form, yet this lack of a full picture made no difference to us. Only after visiting the orphanage did we learn that the girl was dark-skinned. From the very beginning, having applied for adoption, we defined that nationality did not matter, and perhaps we had a premonition. The staffs told us: “Maybe you’ll think more, we’ll find a Kazakh girl for you.” But neither my husband nor I wanted to deprive a child of the happiness of finding a family. And at the moment when I took my baby girl in my arms, mother’s heart, full of love and care, told me that I had made the right decision. I fulfilled my maternal duty — I nursed her with my milk: there is a small age difference between Nazel and my youngest daughter Nazima. So I can safely say that Nazel is my daughter. She recently turned one year old, and we had a tusau keser ceremony according to all the Kazakh traditions. We gathered our loved ones, with the wish that Nazima and Nazel’s path be open and successful,  and received their blessing — bata.

When it came to choosing a daycare center, I, as a mom, began to get nervous: could I entrust my child, how would they care, and what if the baby gets sick? My fears led to the thought: what if we opened a daycare ourselves? My husband supported me this time, too. Eventually, we now have two private kindergartens, and, in addition, a catering enterprise, which is also the result of a lot of hard work. But thanks to mutual understanding and our faith in a common cause, we were able to overcome all the obstacles that stood in our way.

Every family has its difficulties — domestic, financial ... But only mutual respect will help spouses achieve true harmony. Two people who have tied themselves by the bonds of marriage should not forget that family is a small state, and only they themselves are responsible for everything that happens in their lives. To treat relatives on both sides equally and to go hand in hand in the same direction toward the same goal — that is true happiness.

 The reason I fell in love with Nazgul was her soul. She is a hospitable woman with a big heart and soul full of warmth. And wherever you are with her — it becomes a place of tranquility. Nazgul has always respected and respects a man and knows how to calm me down with her composure, gentle tone and smile. I don’t remember that we raised our voices at each other or argued during these 12 years. It’s all thanks to my wife’s character. I am the father of four daughters, and I dream that they will be as charming, calm, and obedient as their mother. The most important thing in raising a girl is her character.

A child is a big responsibility. I want to be a role model so that my sons have grown up worthy citizens and imbibed masculinity and humanity. That’s because children do what they see, not what they hear.

 Nazel is Kazakh. She grows, develops and thrives on our soil, our Kazakh environment, our beautiful nature and traditions. As parents, we do everything we can to let her immerse herself in our life, history and literature. It is the fruit of mother’s heart and father’s love. It is our duty to continue the way of our wise people, who did not leave orphans without care. We try to comprehensively develop each resident-child of our small state and improve their noble qualities to accompany their life journey. There are no children of someone else’s, the main thing is to have a big heart that can accept and give them love.